I Feel Like a Monster!



Mark at the beginning of the race.

This past Saturday (October 27, 2012) was my second annual Team Ortho Monster Dash Half Marathon race. Of course race is a massaged word - the only person I'm racing is me (and maybe Mark H - he set his sights on beating my time next year!) My goal this was year was two level: to beat last year's time of 2:31:53 and to try to beat it to below 2:18:00.

I calculated that second number on one of my practice runs a few weeks back when I ran a "quarter-marathon" (6.55 miles) around Normandale Lake in a time of 1:09:40. Challenging myself, I said, "If I can maintain that pace, I could do the half in 2:18:00!" Of course I was huffing and puffing and subconsciously chuckling to myself. That would be a pace of 10:42 per mile, something I can easily do for several miles. But for 13 steady miles? Not likely!

The other interesting aspect of this practice run is, mid-run my iPod died on me and I ran without music for at least half the run. And realized I was running better. I resolved to run the Monster Dash without music. On race day I opted to take the iPod as an emergency measure in case I hit a wall. But I had a shortened running list with some reggae, a few Christian rock songs, and a few head bangers like POD's "Boom!" and Skillet's "I Feel Like a Monster".

Now granted the lyrics are actually a negative thing, a plea by the singer for God to rescue him from his sinful nature. And the lyrics truly are so powerful. Here's the chorus:

 

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I
Feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I
Feel like a monster
I feel like a monster

But it's great running music! Power chords, loud thumping beat, and raspy, urgent singing! Love it!And it seemed appropriate for the Monster Dash!

But I digress...the day was cold! But there I was, dressed in layers, ready to beat 2:31 or 2:18 or just finish with both legs intact. I ran into my friend Jessica and her WonderFriends in the line for the porta-potties. L-o-n-g line at the porta-potties! But I learned last year, no potty breaks during the race - had to wait. Had to wait longer. Tick Tock.

Jessica (turquoise bandana) and her WonderFriends!

Finally, at the start line, shedding a few layers, I was ready to go! There was the usual starts and stops leading up to the line (there were over 9000 racers trying to cross that start line!) I crossed the line and hit the start button on my Garmin.


Strapping the Garmin on.

At mile 3, off came the cap - steam pored off my bald head - finally warming up! At mile 8 I was surprised I had not yet stopped to walk. Before this day my longest non-stop run was 5 miles. At mile 11.something, the pin on the Garmin band slipped and I stopped to walk while I fixed it - 11+ miles non-stop running! Not bad for a 50-year-old former couch slob!

So, Minda was going to meet me at the final mile mark and run with me to the finish. I had told her expect me about 2:20 at mile marker 12, so she started walking that way at the 2 hour mark. At mile marker 12 I checked my Garmin watch and it said 1:58:37. WHAT? I kept running, pushing harder just as "BOOM!" by POD started pulsing my earbuds. I was pumping my fist to the beat, ignoring the introvert in me that said "Stop it, people are looking at you!"

I was less than a quarter mile from the finish when I spotted Minda. I was swinging my arm and pointing at her in time to the music. And grinning my face off! When she saw me she freaked out. She jumped off the curb and started running with me, then said "Go! I'm slowing you down!" I bolted, sprinting past three runners before the final 10 yards. I crossed the finish line and the Garmin said 2:07:03!!

When I finally found her again she burst into tears and when I told her my finish time, she said "Who knocks 25 minutes off their half-marathon time??!!"

All I can say is, I could not and would not have done it without you, Minda Shultz! Thanks for the encouragement, the support, and the last 16 years of our life. Looking forward to many, many more with you!

My final official time was 2:07:12, so I really only knocked off 24 minutes, 41 seconds. Still, "I feel like a monster!!"