Goal Update

In my last post, December 15, 2011, I detailed a few of my goals for the year. Although the progress was not exactly how I envisioned, there was forward movement. And I firmly believe if your goals aren't adaptable to real life, they aren't realistic goals. They should be a stretch for you, but when life throws a challenge at you, you have to weave and bob to get around or through it and still keep your eyes on the prize.

Here are the four goals and the updates:

#1 - Get the weight down to 198 by April 14. I'll be 50 years old and - if I succeed - I will be 90 pounds lighter than I was in April 2010. (I have 29.5 pounds to go by then - I CAN do it!)

The interesting thing about endurance running - it's easy to pack on extra pounds in the pursuit of longer miles. And sadly, by the time my birthday 50K challenge ended, I was actually up 4 pounds. And this was after more than 5 months of being stuck in the 229-231 pound range. Happily, in the last 5 weeks I have shaved off 10 pounds and am now down to my lowest weight in at least 12 years. More importantly, I "feel" the success happening, success at changing the mindset and taking the body(fat) with it.

#2 - Run a 50K "combo" (see my earlier post regarding the April Challenge) in the week before and including the day of my birthday. And then P A R T Y like a 35-year-old*!!

About day 3 of the 50K Challenge.

Two things happened with this goal: Minda and I ran fifty-THREE kilometers, starting and ending the challenge with a 10K run around Minnehaha Parkway and Lake Nokomis. We also, sadly, decided to postpone the party till later in the summer.

#3 - Run a Marathon. Not sure when or where yet, but this will be the goal behind the mini-goals of the Get Lucky 7K, the St. Paul Running Opener 10K, the Apple Blossom 10K, the Minneapolis Half Marathon, the Minneapolis Duathlon, and the Monster Dash Half-Marathon. (See all those measurable steps I can check off as I approach the Marathon goal?)

This was more of a planning goal rather than a running goal, and as such, it was a great success, thanks to my wife/life-partner/running-inspiration/all-around-life-muse, Minda! Together we are planning to run the Duluth, MN Grandma's Marathon in 2014 to celebrate her 50th birthday. As far as the smaller goals listed above: we ran the Get Lucky 7K in March (with good friend Mark), and I (and Minda tentatively) plan to run the Monster Dash in October, either the Half-Marathon or the 10-Mile run.

#4 - Most importantly, continue - and in fact expand - my role as a model to my son, who will be 12 next year and growing ever closer to the "tough years of teenage".

Marching for Babies in April.

The 12-year-old has arrived in all his glory - part angel/part demon, spending part of his day spitting mad at me, and yet holding my hand most any time he and I walk somewhere, whether across a parking lot or a 5K March for Babies. This year, as I encourage him to try running for fitness (he's declined so far) and he encourages me to parkour (I actually impressed him at one point with my "Nice precision jump"), I see we are moving away from being "Lego-masters". Where we end up, God only knows. But I think he knows I love him, and that I'm hard on him because I expect more from him than he expects from himself. I hope to see this become a mutual interest as the year progresses.

Damien - my first hawk.

One of my other goals is to get back into falconry and I hope to do that before he's 14, when he can take the exam and qualify for his apprentice level permit. I know that falconry had a big part in my straightening up and flying right. My hope is if he leaps into hawking at a young age, he might be inclined to bypass the troubles I leapt into before I put on the hawking glove. I know I have met many young falconers who impressed me with their maturity and level-headedness. I would love to see that happen with Andrew.

New Year's Resolu...

Nope. I don't believe in them and I don't do them. A resolution, despite it's root word being resolve, is nothing more than a wish with about as much substance as a dream. By the end of the day you rarely can remember the dream. And by the end of the year you probably remember back in January when you resolved to do something that you probably didn't do!

There - I said it!

I do, however believe in goals. A goal is a plan. With an action list, a  deadline, and thoughts toward whom and what can help you achieve that goal. A goal is something you can find a way to track, either by checking off the action list as you step forward, or ticking down the countdown, as you shed the pounds or get closer (and fitter) for the race.

So here's a FEW of my goals for 2012, related (obviously) to getting and staying fit and healthy:

#1 - Get the weight down to 198 by April 14. I'll be 50 years old and - if I succeed - I will be 90 pounds lighter than I was in April 2010. (I have 29.5 pounds to go by then - I CAN do it!)

#2 - Run a 50K "combo" (see my earlier post regarding the April Challenge) in the week before and including the day of my birthday. And then P A R T Y like a 35-year-old*!!

#3 - Run a Marathon. Not sure when or where yet, but this will be the goal behind the mini-goals of the Get Lucky 7K, the St. Paul Running Opener 10K, the Apple Blossom 10K, the Minneapolis Half Marathon, the Minneapolis Duathlon, and the Monster Dash Half-Marathon. (See all those measurable steps I can check off as I approach the Marathon goal?)

#4 - Most importantly, continue - and in fact expand - my role as a model to my son, who will be 12 next year and growing ever closer to the "tough years of teenage".

I would say "Wish me luck" but I don't need luck (another thing I don't believe in!). Just faith, hard work and dedication. Join me!


*I say 35 because that's about the age I was when I discovered "fine ale" as opposed to "get drunk beer". Fine Ale will be featured at my 50th birthday party!

Now That THAT's Done...

So after running the MonsterDash Half-Marathon, I was all gung-ho to run every Team Ortho race in 2012 – think of all the cool medallions! I already have a Get Lucky and Monster Dash.

Well, maybe not the Duathlon, because my knees are too precious to my running self to risk them on a bicycle race (hopefully I will get over that phony theory some day).

Then I realized the Polar Dash 10K is on January 1, and we have a family get-together that day (not to mention that last year it was -15 degree wind chill!) and I’m not going to put a crimp in family plans. So, I plan to start my “2012 Running Season” on March 17, with the Get Lucky 7K race (the same one I did in 2011 that started all this running madness for me). That’s a good start to get me ready for my April challenge…

THE APRIL CHALLENGE

April 14, 2012 is my 50^th (gulp) birthday and to commemorate the fact that not only am I still alive, I am actually LIVING, I have decided to run 50K in April! There is a 50K UltraMarathon that day on the paved and unpaved trails that run up and down the hills of Hyland Park…

But I am a reasonable man, especially after running 13 miles last month, so I know that 31 miles is more than just a convenient writer’s palindrome. So the plan is to spread the 50K out over the 7 days leading up to and including my birthday. Here’s the plan:

April 7 (Saturday) – St. Paul Running Opener 10K around Lake Phalen
April 9-13 (Mon- Fri) – local 7K route run each day (total of 35K)
April 14 (Saturday) – easy 5K run ending at our home for a birthday bash!
Total April distance = 50K!

MAY - NOVEMBER

In May, Minda and I will run the Apple Blossom 10K in Hastings which is a beautiful race with about half the course running on trails through the woods.

June will be my last run before the summer heat sets in, with the Minneapolis Half-Marathon (Team Ortho!) on June 3. After that 13.1 miles, I will be taking it easy and indoors on the treadmill (probably) until…

October when the 2012 Monster Dash Half-Marathon (Team Ortho!) returns. The goal for 2012 will be to sprint that last ¼ mile and beat this year’s time.

And of course the annual Turkey Trot 5K in Minneapolis has become a tradition for Minda and I and that will draw an end to the 2012 Racing Season for me with a projected total of 114K! Piece of cake!

What I would like to see is several of you WIIL-ers running these races with me, with encouragement, practice runs, and challenges to make it fun and rewarding. You only have bad health and excess weight to lose! Who’s with me?

I’m not looking for a commitment at this time, just a show of hands to start encouraging each other during the “indoor” season and remind each other about the registration deadlines. We can also plan on training runs as the race dates get close.

Thanks Minda!

Another goal checked off the list. And this was a BIG one. I mean, 11 months ago I sort of joked that I was going to run a 7K race. I meant to try to run it, but I didn't think I really would. And then I did. A month later it was a 10K and 2 weeks later, another 10K. All of the sudden, I realized I was serious about running.

So when Minda suggested I run the MonsterDash Half-Marathon, in lieu of the MonsterDash 5K I was planning on, I joked that maybe I might just think about considering that idea.

Just before the start -
13.1 miles ahead of me

And then I did it.

It was not a great finish for me, though I did in fact meet my goal of under 2.5 hours (officially it was 2:31:53, but I am "officially" deducting 5 minutes for a very long porta-potty line at mile 4).

I hit no mental walls along the way - once I started, I knew I was going to finish - and in fact, I felt great for the first seven or eight miles. By mile nine, I was tired but going strong. At mile ten or eleven (they kind of blurred together) I was greeted and cheered on by good friends Mark and Anna and their lovely daughters, Ellie, Tabby and Malia.

Here I go - 13.05 miles
ahead of me.

About a half-mile down the road, my lower left leg started squeaking...and then screaming! I started jump-drag-hobbling. And then my right leg started whining about the added work it was having to do. And then they both threatened to quit on me!

When Minda joined me -
about 1 mile to go.

And then I heard a familiar voice: Minda cheering from the sidewalk! She jumped off the curb and started running with me - in her suede boots and carrying my bag of "stuff". I told her what was happening and that I was angry at my legs - I wanted to finish STRONG!! I wanted to do that last 1/4-mile sprint at the end that I have fallen in love with: passing people left and right, shaving seconds off my time, sucking wind like it's IPA-flavored.

But for the first time, I started doubting I was going to even make it to the finish line. What if my leg really did collapse? Minda would hear none of it!

"Come on, just tell your leg it has everything it needs - blood, oxygen, nutrients - and keep going. You're going to finish - tell it that." And I did. And Minda ran that last mile with me.

Finished! And (technically) under my goal time!

Thanks Minda for encouraging me all summer to do this - and pushing through with me to the very end!

Oh Yeah, Remember?

With all this running and pound-losing and preparing for a half-marathon and talking about running and pound-losing, it's easy to believe that that's all this blog is about. But it's about so much more.

It's about digging out those forever-dreams that I buried long ago in the detritus of survival. Forever, because most of my dreams/goals have been a part of me since I was young:

Entrepreneurial - I was mowing lawns for money at 12 and dreaming up other businesses with each pass of the mower. Heck, when I was 9 or 10, my sister and I put together magic shows in our basement, charging admission and selling popcorn and lemonade for a little spending money.

Writing - I've been writing stories since my 4th grade teacher told me I had a gift for the written word (pardon the cliche, but she really did!). I have three finished novels collecting dust on my back burner. And when I ruminate on one or the other, I get excited about their stories and characters all over again. They may not be publisher-worthy quite yet, but each one has potential...to touch lives, move emotions in some way, thrill a reader.

Every time I see a hawk sitting on a pole or streaking through the trees of the neighborhood chasing sparrows, I remember how alive I felt when I was a falconer. It's been six years since I flew a hawk, but when I see one, I think, I could do that now...I'm healthy enough to keep up with a goshawk! (Well, relatively speaking - I'm healthy enough to handle the long jaunts through knee-deep snow to recover a goshawk plucking a pheasant a mile from where she first left my fist.) Or follow a crazy squirrel chase through the woods with a fierce and determined Redtailed hawk.

And my newest one, which is really a return to the days when I was a big fan of Backwoods Home magazine, but actually makes even more sense in this crazy world we live in today, becoming more self-relient. I want to grow my own food - vegetables, herbs, fruit, maybe even eggs - and can it, and brew my own beer, and hunt my own meat (another long-held dream - arrowing a deer).

These dreams are all a part of living, living my life, which is what this blog is all about: truly living, not just surviving. Ignoring the naysayer at the back of my mind telling me I'll fail, or it's not good enough, or it's not worth the trouble, and doing something because it's what I was born to do. And because putting off everything until "one of these days" may just take too long.

I need to remember that.

Do you have dreams that are in the "One Of These Days" files? When are you going to get them out of the file and start doing them?

12

It's down to 12 days from the Event Of The Year for me. The Monster Dash Half Marathon.

In preparation, this past Saturday I joined 50 or 60 other Team Ortho folks to run a practice run on the actual course. We ran the first 6 miles, then turned and ran back to the start - 12 miles.

Yes, I told myself, you just ran 12 miles in 2 hours and 22 minutes at an 11:09 per mile pace! With very few walk breaks and only one porta-potty break. (I passed it by on the outrun, but on the way back, at mile 8, I had to stop - coffee is a blessing and a curse, you know.) And I burned 2800+ calories doing it - enough to justify McDonald's, Wendy's and a Snicker's bar. (I did have the Snicker's bar at work).

Thirty minutes after my 12-mile run, I worked a 12-hour shift at my job driving a computer. It was a fairly slow day, so I had plenty of time to reflect. On how good the overall soreness felt. And how my knees were not screaming, but my toes were. How deserved the sleepiness was that kept stealing over me and giving me "Locked Eyeball Syndrome". How when I stood up and stretched to shake off the fugue state, it hurt so damn good. And on how amazing this accomplishment felt: it wasn't even the main event! Twelve miles was the longest distance I have ever run in my life. But two weeks from now, I increase that to 13.1!

I thought back to 12 months ago...I was at least 60 pounds heavier, my knees and ankles hurt most of the time (because of the extra weight, not because I pounded pavement for 2+ hours), and I could barely walk to the park bench to watch my son play on the swings.

I also slept with a face mask on to keep me breathing, I was on at least year seven of daily Prilosec intake (who knows what that stuff does to the rest of your body?) and my wife and son had a ticking time bomb slouching around their house.

That Monster Dash Finisher medal with the skeleton has even more meaning to me now - What if I lived? I'm living and loving it. Bring on the 13.1...and whatever comes after it!

Liar!

When I first started losing pounds - after the first ten or twelve easy ones - I was amazed to find myself appreciating the "hunger pangs" I occasionally felt. They were honest; they were not a blood sugar crash precipitated by an unbalanced, crappy meal and an out of whack insulin response. Hunger was empowering and invigorating.

Hunger was an affirmation that I was accomplishing a long sought-after goal.

But I'm struggling these days - still healthier than ever, still running and training for a half-marathon (32 days and counting), still love seeing the thinner, vibrant face in the mirror - but damn I am slipping back into the old habit of kow-towing to my hunger!! The slightest twinge of hunger and I start thinking of food.

And of course work time is the worst time: even when I have healthy meals and healthy snacks available to me, I still manage to down a few handfuls of candy, a brownie...even a good old fashioned sugary Pepsi! The food culture where I work is very generous to a snack-junkie. It's a good thing I only work four days a week!

I'm even back to lying to myself: if I don't eat that extra piece of pizza now, I'm just going to get hungry later and eat twice as much. If I allow today to be a "treat day", I'll get back in gear tomorrow...or maybe the next day. Hell, it's the weekend, I'll get my focus back on Monday. A Snickers bar will make me feel all better after that last ugly phone call...blah, blah, effing blah.

Liar!
I want my focus back - NOW; I want to get back in gear - NOW; I want the good hunger pangs back, the ones I called my friends. I want the unerring strength and power those hunger pangs gave me, the feeling of subjugating a transient and false craving in service to a slimmer, stronger, healthier body.

I want to stop lying to myself and get back to fixing myself - inside and out.

Love That White Powder

No, that was 30 years ago. But the magnetism, the ability to damage my health, the ability to derail my life, and the loss of integrity and self-respect is the same.

This...

Sugar. I love it. I hate it. I hate to love it. And sometimes, it owns me.

It boggles my mind how I can be perfectly satisfied with a good, filling, healthy meal...and 5 minutes later start considering a visit to the candy machine at work. Maybe I'll have an apple or grapefruit instead. I love grapefruit. And then five minutes later...M&Ms? A Twix bar? Maybe a 4-pack of chocolate Zingers??

Hi, my name is Scott and I'm a sugar-addict. I let sugar control my life. I have even let it affect my health, my relationships, and my job.

My job is where the cravings hit most often. Which is a good indicator that it has nothing to do with hunger. It's the false sense of contentment, euphoria, and pleasure that comes with a mouthful of sugar. And it evaporates the second I'm back at my desk with phone ringing.

I need to work on this...and I know I can't do it alone. Help!

Done and Done

Two of my goals for this year are completed. And, just for something different - they don't even involve me!
Minda now has new eyeglasses - and she looks (and sees) sharp!

Andrew's upper palette has been expanded and four weeks from today, he will have the bands for his braces installed. The neat thing was to see him embrace the fortitude to do what had to be done (once daily turning of a crank that basically spread the bones in the roof of his mouth a quarter-millimeter each day). After a few days of Papa doing it for him, he took over and did it himself most mornings. And the results were impressive.

Yes, those catty-wampus (TexanSpeak) teeth are just a step in the right direction toward a beautiful smile!

And though I suspect I won't reach my goal of dropping 82 pounds by November 1, I am down 62 pounds from my all-time high of 288 pounds. And I continue to run (averaging 20 miles per week). And I am training for my first half-marathon in October.

And most importantly, I am LIVING and, God willing, I plan on living a long, healthy and enjoyable life!

Now on to the Finish Line!

Finish line for the Apple Blossom 10K race Minda and I ran in May 2011.

Great Article

Here's a great article on Ben Davis of BenDoesLife, the initial inspiration for me to lose my fat and find my life!